The quote below is something that I’ve experienced in one form or another, since I first started experiencing depression and anxiety, some 35 years ago.
“The worst part about having mental health issues? That you’re seemingly required to have a breakdown in order for people to understand how hard you were trying to hold yourself together. Also terrible: post-breakdown, once you recover any noticeable functionality whatsoever, it’s often assumed that you must be “better now“. Any backslide is met with more skepticism, than sympathy. Like, “I don’t understand; I thought you were over this” or “why dont you just do what you did to feel better last time; you know it will work now.” Source: x.com/nononsens…
It gets to the point that you become reluctant to exhibit any ‘improvement’, no matter how small or brief, because it gives those that care a false sense of hope.
So you live in this perpetual enforced state of ‘holding back’ sharing or showing any kind of improvement… until you are absolutely sure you’ve managed to properly ride out that particular mental health crisis.
But always back of your mind you just know it’s a matter of time till you’re back down in the pit of blackness.
After years of this exhaustive back and forth? You learn it’s easier to just slowly withdraw and isolate completely, so you don’t need to worry about masking, explaining, justifying etc.
This following quote was in response to the above, and basically just sums it all up:
“The mental health paradox: you need to completely fall apart to prove you were holding it together.” Source: x.com/mindpopap…
Conclusion? Damned if you do; damned if you don’t.